I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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