You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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