I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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