In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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