i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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