If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
