She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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