so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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