apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
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So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
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Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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