too bad you live with your parents still
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
