He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
