I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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