1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hippo gnu deer
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
