how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
