I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
