I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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