I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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