Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
jump out the window naked night went bad
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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