why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
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My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
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sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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