when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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