atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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