then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
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whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
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There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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