You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
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...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
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I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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