I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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