Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
