Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
