remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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