I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize