If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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