Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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