How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Please don't give away my fajitas
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
