Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize