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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

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• (559): View more from California

  With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

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• (585): View more from New York

  she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.

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• (760): View more from California

  just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  Why haven't you proposed already?

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• (631): View more from New York

  If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it

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