that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.