the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now