I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Acid is not a monday night drug
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous