Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.

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(631): But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures. http://tfl.nu/g3us

Replies (12) Good night (998) Bad night (2639)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.

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(205): Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent. http://tfl.nu/5qhy

Replies (25) Good night (573) Bad night (7305)
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(703): View more from Virginia

the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow. You named your rash.

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(703): the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch. (717): Wow. You named your rash. http://tfl.nu/cxl6

Replies (22) Good night (805) Bad night (3945)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.

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(225): Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING. http://tfl.nu/893j

Replies (9) Good night (5696) Bad night (735)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.

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(401): my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie. http://tfl.nu/a7k2

Replies (13) Good night (771) Bad night (3533)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in

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(778): Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in http://tfl.nu/zrr6

Replies (11) Good night (944) Bad night (3227)
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(214): View more from Texas

My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.

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(214): My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/3ozf

Replies (54) Good night (9795) Bad night (1414)
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(850): View more from Florida

my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.

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(850): my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster. http://tfl.nu/974x

Replies (14) Good night (7805) Bad night (1450)
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(260): View more from Indiana

Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?

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(260): Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement? http://tfl.nu/iy8f

Replies (8) Good night (1013) Bad night (2706)
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(773): View more from Illinois

We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below

(773): View more from Illinois

When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"

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(773): We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below (773): When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!" http://tfl.nu/bs1p

Replies (4) Good night (1818) Bad night (542)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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(651): Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize. http://tfl.nu/ao6w

Replies (5) Good night (2014) Bad night (597)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?

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(301): Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours? http://tfl.nu/n62u

Replies (4) Good night (1221) Bad night (451)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

Yep

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(204): I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh? (1-204): Yep http://tfl.nu/wj63

Replies (0) Good night (949) Bad night (459)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...

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(859): you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection. (1-859): ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave... http://tfl.nu/0oli

Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (523)
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(954): View more from Florida

I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.

(941): View more from Florida

Oh at the liquor store again?

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(954): I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board. (941): Oh at the liquor store again? http://tfl.nu/01vl

Replies (0) Good night (534) Bad night (214)

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