His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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