dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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