So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
