it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize