it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
