I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
