just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
