I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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