you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
