Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
