have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize