I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
