They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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