Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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