Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
