I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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