I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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