She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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