If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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