He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So many bounce houses so little time
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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