I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
