Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize