Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
