I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
