I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
