Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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